GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!

Gloryholes. I am sure we are all familiar with the term and for us guys we are used to seeing them, in all there etched-out glory, anywhere you find a public toilet.

From Wikipedia for the uninitiated; "A Gloryhole is a hole in a wall, or other partition, often between public lavatory stalls or video booths for people to engage in sexual activity or observe the person in the next cubicle while one or both parties masturbate."

So the basic idea is that there is a hole in the partitioning wall between two cubicals, generally big enough for one to stick their penis, and sometimes hands, through so that two or more parties can engage in various forms of oral sex, masturbation, voyeorism and sex.

Now what has always got me is the process in which these holes get made. They are not small holes and the walls are not made out of paper. This is going to require a bit of work.

Let us leave for a minute the question of who and address how do these holes get started? Does someone bring a drill with them? Surely this would require too much forethought, not to mention conspicuousness. I imagine the hole gets started with a knife or some other common-type sharp object.

Ok, so far we have one guy starting the hole with his knife. Sun burst through to his cubical as he breaks through and makes the initial hole. This hole initially could not be bigger than the size of a mans finger - and we know we need to get it to at least penis size, if not wrist size. Having done my share of wood working in the past, assuming that the wall-patrician is not chip-board, this is going to take a little time and elbow grease. Does this guy stay in the cubical, slowly widdling away the hole for the next hour, discretely making trips outside to dispose of the widdlings in a Shawshank-Redemption-like tunnel building escapade? I would imagine that from all the time and work it takes to increase the hole to adequate size, the urge and inclination to partake in some George Michael-esque public bathroom antics may well have passed.

Assume that he doesn't finish the hole all in one go. If he comes back to the work site, well I guess at least he is showing perseverance. What is more mind-bending is the idea that every man interested, who uses that cubical, widdles away a little more of the hole upon their visit, like a pack of rats slowly eating its way through the walls and electric wiring of an abandoned house. Fantastic! We now have the Gloryhole collective, banding together across the world, creating holes through community action wherever public ludeness is desired.

Recently, in an attempt to reduce acts of public luedeness and sex (god knows why), local governments have cracked down on gay public cruising venues. Part of this response has been to replace wooden cubical walls with sheet metal walls, or place metal sheets on the wooden walls, to prevent any gloryhole tunneling.

Today as I was in the Lygon Plaza mens toilets, I was reminded that sometimes there are definable differences between the sexes. The toilet stalls had been installed with the sheets of metal fitted onto the existing wooden cubical patitians. In the appropriate crotch-height area was the evidence. Hundres and hundreds of scrtach marks! So desparate are we men for sexual gratification, so strong is the urge to shove our cock in another mans mouth, that some poor soul was, I imagine, feriously trying to tunnel their way to sexual gratification through two sheets of 4mm thich stainless steel with little more than their finger nails and maybe a set of car keys...