My microwave just said to me, "Enjoy your meal!"That's a bit bloody optimistic, Microwave. I fucking melted butter in you for 10 seconds. What fucking meal can be made in 10 seconds? Even if I put something in you for like 10 minutes it most likely isn't going to be a meal. You are good for melting, defrosting and heating. That's it! Not really deserving of the meal credit that your polite, however, somewhat passive-aggressive, "enjoy your meal" alludes to - you playing a major role in this extravagant microwaved feast my arse! It ain't the fucking 80's anymore, dude. That bit in Back to the Future 2 where they put a pizza the size of a cracker in a microwave-type contraption and in 10 seconds it turns into a full-size pizza, I admit that was cool. But it is never going to happen, is it? Over fucking promise, under fucking deliver! We no longer hold onto delusional notions that one day we would be cooking all of our meals in you. Microwave cookbooks barely exist anymore. And when do you think was the last time that someone attempted to cook a roast dinner inside of you? Wake the fuck up. Fuck!
Don't you fucking look at me like that Toaster or you will be next...
7 comments:
*Dork Alert*
When microwaves do this I always think of that scene in Red Dwarf where Cat works out that he can have an endless supply of fish (which he visualizes as 6 fish!) and the machine (made out of cardboard boxes) repeats "Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal." I would LOVE a microwave that would say that.
Also, I just have to share that my word verification letters are "sperm". Amazing.
oh - i think i remember that in Red dwarf.
If only i got to pick out the word verification letters. They would all be similar variants; spoof, jizz, jizzum, cum, WAUD, splooge, Shmeg. ewww....
On Boxing Day my mum made microwave hollandaise sauce to put on the asparagus. I certainly enjoyed that meal.
My word verification is "broslato" which sounds like an especially manly Italian dish.
Oh my god you guys - maybe we should invent a dictionary of word verification words! That would certainly kill a few hours at least.
My word verification word is 'wrowmew' which is actaully the Welsh word for cat vomit.
lovely :)
....
pionvu - no idea what that is
how do i leave a picture here?
i have the perfect pictorial response to this particular rant...
ah, screw it, just check my blog.
(word verification: thinsi - irony: writing this while waiting for my carrot cake to cool so i can load icing on it... hello dinner!)
http://googligug.blogspot.com/
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