Almost two years ago I had the pleasure of helping organise my High School 10-year reunion. Granted there was probably only one other person less likely to organise the reunion, a guy who published a hit list of girls in our year he wished would die, I took on the task with enthusiasm and a mild sense of satisfactory irony. But that is irrelevant to the story.
At the reunion, I got to talking to one of the local lads we grew up with, and although he was a couple years older than us, he was part of our 'group of friends'. I never really liked this guy much and I never really trusted him. Deep down though, I guess you could say, he was a CUNT.
If you could see a picture of this guy you would instantly know what I mean. He has that "fuck off" reserved smirk and you just know, given the chance, if you died, he would anally rape your corpse and cum on your decomposing face.
Now I am a guy that is has a relative high level of trust in mechanics and automated design. I don't expect planes to just fall out of the sky, I trust most cars will stop at a red traffic light and my vibrating anal butt plug won't explode in my arse at point of climax.
This guy, the CUNT, told me where he worked. He works as a rail-works technician in Northcote. When I am riding across the train tracks now, even if there is no hint of the boom gates going down or the red flashing lights and the annoying dinging noise, I have to check twice, sometimes three times, just to make sure there hasn't been some mechanical malfunction where the boom gates haven't dropped for an oncoming train, due to the CUNT not doing his job because he was too busy trying to submit his girlfriends naked photos to Zoo Magazines Booty Bank* without her knowing, and I am going to get splattered by the train, die and I won't get to return my library books. I really hate late fines.
Sometimes, I guess, it’s best not to know who the people are that are doing the jobs that could potentially save our lives.
*The booty bank was a real section of Zoo magazine. Zoo magazine currently have a competition where you can “win a boob job for your girlfriend.”
**I re-read this post briefly, and yes, it does appear to be more sexual than other posts. I put this down to the fact I have been listening to the Dan Savage Podcast which is the gayest thing I have had in my ears since my school mate, Steven, tried to give me a wet willy with his penis when I was seven years old. Wocka Wocka Wocka!