I'm not patriotic. I'm just very vain.

When I work at my computer, I like to have a pen and pad next to me. At the end of each day, after much procrastination, chatting on the phone, avoiding serious thinking and just general day dreaming, I have a page full of scribbles and doodles and very little else that could be passed off as serious work.

Amongst the doodles and scribles are quite a few very badly ink-drawn Australian Flags. Yes, AUSTRALIAN FLAGS!

I am not usually one for hating on Australia. Quite frankly, I think you are a bit of a fucking spoiled brat if you whine too much about Australia (you have fucking hit the jackpot if you were lucky enough to be born in a liberal place like Australia and are not one of the 2.7 BILLION people who live on less than $2 per day) but I certainly wouldn't describe myself as patriotic.

So why all the Australian Flags, Natio? Well, it is because I am vain. When I doodle, I tend to write the letter 'N', because "Nat" starts with 'N' and 'N' is an awesome letter. Then, in some form of absent-minded modesty and shame I suppose, I turn the 'N' into a square with a diagonal, then add extra diagonals to create the Union Jack. The Union Jack looks all lost and lonely by itself on the page so I add some stars, and as Jerry Seinfeld said, Britain at night time - you have the Australian Flag.